Optimism

My boss tells me I'm too optimistic.He wonders where I get it. When everything around me seems to be crumbling down.

He tells me that's good. But I should try to be cautiously optimistic.

I agree. But I don't have the slightest idea how to do that. Because I feel that the minute you start doubting your optimism (and creating plan B's, plan C's and D's) that's not being optimistic anymore.

So I would just rather remain as is right now. Cancer probably does that to you. Grows your faith. Keeps hope afloat on your side of the world.

Is being overly optimistic bad? They say anything in excess is always bad. Sigh.

AT this point though, I think staying a little more optimistic is the best thing for me to do. When I come to work, colleagues would ask where I get my energy or how do I keep my sanity intact despite every thing that's been happening around me lately. From my faith I guess. I learned how to surrender. And believe that every bad thing has an ending. And there is always a chance that tomorrow is going to be way better.

Right?

***all photos/quotes grabbed from Pinterest

Hello May!

I blinked and it's now May.

Was I that busy that I didn't feel the first quarter of the year go by and now the second quarter's almost halfway through? 

In the past, my summers have always been dedicated to mother-daughter weekends but none of that is happening this year. The thought stirs the kind of emotions that is of the complicated kind. The more I think about it, the more sadder it gets though. I don't want to stay in that zone. Because I did pray for these blessings that I am currently getting. And yes, my gratitude basket is filled to the brim. I really have no right to complain.

I am now blessed to be doing what I really love to do. And that is to mentor people. I love to teach because it makes me feel like I am helping make the world a better place. Haha self-indulging, I know (bordering on gloating in fact but I have to say that so I will push myself to work harder to making that happen). I hope the people I am mentoring now is indeed learning from me. For now, every thank you that I receive is already fulfilling on its own. A sort of validation. And again, that goes into my gratitude basket.

I am blessed too to be surrounded by a solid support group. Of bosses who empower and colleagues who readily extends help despite being overwhelmed with individual tasks themselves. 

The world is still filled with goodness. 

So yes, I'm a little shaken that it's already May but I can't wait to rock the rest of this year. And in retrospect, maybe I didn't feel time move at all because everything's been rolling great since 2013 opened its doors. It's been a smooth ride for the most part (and I was expecting bumpy).

So anyway, I know I'm probably not making any sense to you. But when I spill out my thoughts like this, things start to clear out in my head and I start to make sense out of what's going on around me. And for that, I am thankful that I have this space to help me do that.

I hope May is going to be awesome for you, friends! 

12.21.12

I tried to wait for it since I came home late from our company Christmas party anyways. But 8 minutes before midnight, my body just gave in to sleep. 

I woke up at 5:50am on 12.21.12 and thought, sh*t I am going to miss my morning run again today. 

My sister calls it RESET. But it's been going around since the beginning of the year. The world is ending on 12.21.12. Yet, we are still here. I never read up on it and somebody probably posted an answer to this question already but I just can't shake it off my head so I'm just gonna throw it anyways: "Which timezone was it based on anyways?"

If you're on reflection mode today, this post is a perfect starter for you. I on the otherhand have to deal with huge paper pile in front of me so I'm reserving reflection time to this weekend. 

Have a great Friday (and weekend too) everyone!

Grateful Existence

So apt to this day, woke up early to get my performance evaluation for work done. I'm trying to recall the things I've done good at the past year. But as always, I'm a big procrastinator. So yes, 30 minutes after, I still haven't done anything in there. Not even a word.

Then again, this time for reflection has filled me with overwhelming gratefulness. For what? Well, a lot of things which are mostly of intangible nature.

Financially, we are far from good. We're actually just surviving. But yes, the key word there is SURVIVE. And for that, I am extremely grateful.Even more grateful that all my efforts at work are finally being recognized and rewarded. That is more than enough because it affords us sustainability.

Materially, we are far from good. We are actually in a bad situation. We have several appliances (a fridge that turns into Antarctica in just a day, for example) and furniture that is dire need of replacing. But they will have to wait for a few more months or maybe a year. But again, we will survive. It's nothing life-threatening and a little bump here and there won't really hurt.

'

Physically, we're doing well I guess. We've started a more rigorous exercise regimen this year having decided to pursue our marathon dream in Feb next year. And we've been eating more fish than meat (a big pat on the back for the hubby for finally conceding). We probably can do better but I'm happy we're finding the time to do more healthy things these days. Yes, that makes me very very grateful.


Spiritually, we can work more on this aspect. But I'm also grateful I am surrounded by co-workers who help me nurture my spirituality without pressure. That to me works because I'm the type who would rebel when I'm being forced to do something. And right now, I'm with the company of spiritual friends who are there to guide without being compelling or imposing.


So yes, we are in a good place right here, right now. I am happy and contented for the most part. Contentment is hard to find nowadays and that's another thing that makes me really grateful these days. Yes, I do feel envy some days. I am but human. But the envy disappears fast (and that still surprises me somehow), and I will be enveloped by gratitude again.

We don't celebrate Thanksgiving on this part of the world that I come from. But I guess it won't hurt to take more gratitude pills today. After all, gratitude is something you can never overdose on.

All photos were taken from Pinterest.

Hello November!

November always passes by like a blur for me. Probably it's the anticipation of the upcoming holidays for us. The best memory of November that I always have is getting a fatter than usual paycheck which instantly disappears the minute I get my to-do lists (mainly consisting of gift buying and holiday planning) out. That one also passes by like a blur for me (the fatter than usual paycheck, I mean)

I am now making a mental note of getting in some sort of tradition for this month. It is after all a celebration of life since my parents and my mother-in-law are all born on this month.But between the marathon training and several errand backlogs, it all feels overwhelming already I would probably end up with nothing by the time the month comes to a close. And before I know it, I'd probably be cramming for all the things that I need to get done before the holidays. Insane. Yes, that's me.'

This post for instance was started like a week ago. But here I am still finishing up and going nowhere. I started asking myself too, what's the point of making this "Hello" posts. Then it hit me, this is probably again my subconscious trying to organize my cluttered mind. And trying to set priorities.

So let's see. This month, my primary priorities would be as follows:
- Bring the kid back to the Doc Chen's for her semi-annual well kid check up.
- Finish this Photobook that I have been trying to burn the midnight oil on before the voucher expires (which is a week from now. Waaaaaaaaaah). Thank God, I'm making progress. I'm halfway through actually. Just need to find more pictures (and maybe settle on a book theme so I could limit my photo choices. I have gazillions to sift through and that alone is making me want to drop out of this project already)
- Put up our Christmas tree.
- Nail my weekly mileage requirements. And register for my final 21k race this year.
- Touch base a friend (or two) because yes, this also keeps my sanity intact. And by touch base I mean really meet up and spend time (even if it's just a couple of hours).

My dear tarragon plant flowering again. 

So that's 5. And 5 is something I can work with. I wanted to put in there start making more handmade ornaments to give away to relatives this holidays but that might just be the end of it. I don't want to pull my strings hard and snap. So yes, I am accepting the fact that the ornament dream would have to take a back seat this year. But well, on the brightside, there's the next year to look forward to. And that would give me more time to gather more materials.

And there's my herb garden that I've been neglecting for months now. Despite that I'm happy to see that most of my plants are thriving. The tarragon even sported a bloom despite half of it wilting (from too much rain last month, I reckon) and dying. And I take that as a sign that things will quiet down soon.

How's your November going so far?

Hello August!

I am an accountant by day. The end and the beginning of any given month is always the busiest for me at the workfront. So right now, I got my hands full. I have A LOT to do, A LOT that the mere thought of them makes my brain freeze and in turn awakens my lazy bones to the point of me ending up with these on my desk:

For my loved ones. Tibs and Maia, most especially
I know I have the worst wire bending art skills (I don't even think what I did could pass up as a skill)

The incessant patter of thick, rain pellets (yes pellets because that's how they really appear from where I'm sitting) on the glass wall in front of me isn't helping at all. Now all I want to do is to go home, slip under warm bed covers and cuddle with my adorable-curious-little-but-growing-up-so-quickly-little-miss.

This is how I welcome August. By being LAZY and opting to take a mental vacation. When I was younger, my lolas would tell me that August is the leanest of all the months of the calendar year. This is apparently the time when you take out/make use of all the bounties that you've saved up during the early part of the year because it's taghirap. I come from an agricultural family and I guess the primary explanation to that belief of my elders is the reality that the rainy season is not the best time to plant your crops. And agricultural families foregoing the planting on this season of course would lead to the lack of harvest. 

So where am I heading with this? I don't know. Haha. I guess what I'm really trying to do is find an excuse for all this laziness. August has always been a so-so for me. Will that remain to be the same this year? I want to think that I can change it. But right now my mind and body is telling me to just CHILL. And embrace all the laziness around me. Haha.