Goodbye, Ate Inday

So we start a new chapter in our yaya diaries this month. We welcomed Ate Bibing into our home last night.

I know Tibs was trying to hide the shock in his face upon seeing our new yaya but I told him at this point, we really do not have the luxury to be picky. As long as we have a healthy and capable yaya we just have to settle on that for now. All other factors (aesthetics most especially) will have to take a backseat for now.

I guess just like Maia, Ate Inday will be irreplaceable in our hearts. She was almost the epitome of the perfect yaya she just needed to be healthier then we would have been okay. Ate Inday was always looking after Maia's welfare. Despite our little girl's 'adventurous' behaviour she never got tired of chasing after her. She tried her best not to let her out of her sight. She encouraged Maia's creativity to flow. She loved sharing stories with Maia. She was my substitute teacher during the day. And the numerous home videos we have of Maia's milestones can prove how well she did.

But unfortunately, Ate Inday became sickly these past few months. And I guess, her love for Maia prompted her to tell us she needed to take sometime off to rest in the province. She doesn't want to endanger Maia or expose her to whatever's making her sickly. And as working parents would know a request for rest doesn't always guarantee a return. So despite negotiations, we were forced to hire a replacement. And after 4 attempts, we finally got one.

I pray that Maia will learn to love Ate Bibing eventually. This morning she was quick to ask if Ate Bibing already went home. I guess it hasn't dawned on her yet that Ate Bibing is living with us already. Oh well, such is life. We just have to try to get on with our day to day lives from here and pray that maybe Ate Inday could still come back to us in the future.

I am Blessed

If I can get away with it, I will choose to rid of all the drama.

But I don't think life has offered me that as an option. It was always either about learning to dodge them or making it through them.

I've always made it through. But that does not always go to show that I chose to fight to make it thru. It always just seem to happen that I get the extra energy boost at that point when I feel like letting go and giving up. I always end up prouder of myself though. And probably that is why somehow someone up there took upon himself to send me the extra boost to make it thru. He wants me to feel triumphant after every drama. He wants me to savor that moment. He wants me to count my blessings.

So everyday, I end up counting and counting. Yes, I am blessed after all. Always am.

Hello There!

I've taken a hiatus far too long from writing. And I miss it so much.

I hope to be back on my feet from this day on.

Early this week I had a light bulb moment. And I'm hoping to make that light bulb moment translate into something more realistic soon.

But for now, please bear with bulleted updates of my boring life. That I will try to do at least weekly if that would help me get back into writing mode.

Health-wise I've just gotten over my beginning of the year C-blues and I'm hoping the last few bits of them are finally gone. It seems like I always begin the year with a cancer scare. I hope next year it will be different. For now, I end this short welcome post for me with a very grateful tone. Being around to welcome the new year is always a good sign for me. Knowing that I still have a full year to make things right and make good, wonderful memories with people I love makes me feel very, very grateful. :)

So long, NU.

I felt compelled to write something, somehow.

Tonight saw Tibs and me huddled in the little corner of our bedroom listening to NU 107.5 jocks bid their final farewell. After Huling El Bimbo was played we listened till there was nothing but static.

It was the first time that I never got tempted to cut the silence off and babble. I just let the silence linger. I guess Tibs was having his moment too just like me. When static hit, I felt like I was seeing the last 15 years of my life flash by. NU somehow summed up the best years of my life.

It was my Uncle Totie who introduced me and my sister to rock and roll. Although, he was more of the BON JOVI kind still he was kind enough to show us that we could crank up our radio dial to the farthest right and have a blast listening to better music.

NU kept me company throughout my angst-driven teenage life. It also provided me with enough music knowledge so that the shy me could reach out to people of my kind and make friends.

In college, NU kept me sane on afternoons I'd wake up swimming in melancholy due to a bad hangover. It served as my caffeine when I had to cram for exams. I don't know why I associate UP with NU but this sign off somehow brought back memories of my final days in UP. It was sad. It felt like I am closing a chapter in my life.

In the first few years of my working life, it was NU that somehow kept me away from drowning in depression while struggling to make it the corporate jungle of Makati. I just had to bring a radio with me on each of the apartment moves I'd make so I won't miss home so much. Listening to that side of the dial somehow chased the homesickness away. It always felt like I was close to home. The songs they'd play would somehow always bring a fond childhood memory. And it always made me feel like I was being hugged by my dear sister. Drama no?

I never learned to play any musical instrument. But NU made me realize how important music is to my life. I've made a lot of friends because of music and I even met my husband because of music.

Now that I've thought about it, NU was a force that drove all the major turning points in my life. That should make me really grateful then, shouldn't it? I am. GRATEFUL. And I feel lucky to have been a part of that era when the HOME of New Rock kept the airwaves alive by providing listeners with the choice of better music.

I hope though that in Maia's generation, a new Home of the New Rock would emerge. Because I would love it if she would also learn to appreciate music. The way that NU 107 taught me how.

What I'm Missing on Weekdays

I've been stuck at home for two days now. Doctor's orders.

And these past two days are one of the most memorable days I've spent at home. For one, it was just me, Maia and Yaya. I felt like I was king and queen for two days. With no Tibs butting in to contradict my orders. Kidding.

What really made these two days memorable were these chance:

- to watch Maia go straight to the potty trainer after waking from a nap and successful empty her bladder with out our prodding. Added bonus was her cheering "YEY! GALING!" after rising from the potty seat.

- to learn that Maia loves to eat cheese. We used to think she only likes those ensaymada toppings that she likes to pick but I thought of handing her a few cheese slices and she devoured them instantly. There's even a matching, "yummmm sarap sarap!" when she finished the cheese off her plate. I don't know yet if the liking would take her as far as one week. But at least we have alternative calcium source for the next few days since we're really trying to wean her off the bottle.

- to listen to Maia respond to her dad's call. Usually, when I'm on the other line she'd just keep quiet and listen to me talk. But these past 2 days, she'd immediately say 'dad?dad?' when I hand over the phone to her. Now this somehow convinces me that this little girl is a Daddy's girl. *sob*sob

- be around when Maia's on her extra sensitive/attentive mood. Or maybe it's because yaya kept telling her Mom's sick so she has to behave. Entire Monday, she kept to herself. Played while I rested. And easily took a nap when we asked her she needed to. She demanded to be read a story only once in the afternoon. Today (Tuesday) was a bit different though. But she really only demanded for a few minutes of tickle, tickle with Mommy and a couple of hours of playtime. I felt better today anyways so I'm glad I had the energy to give in to her demands.

- to have the luxury to really pick a time to explain to Maia the reason why she can't do this or do that without going really negative on her. And I could see that she's also paying a lot more attention when I talk in a patiently manner (slowly probably and without raising my voice).

- to finally get to remember how wonderful it was to really nap luxuriously in the afternoon. I forgot that feeling a long time ago (I think I last had the same wonderful experience during sembreaks in college way back...hehe nevermind).

I'm going back to work a lot more energized tomorrow. Today I can say with conviction that everything do happen for a reason. Even if you're forced to miss work on closing week. Wehehehe.

Emptying an Overfilled Bucket

I am suffering from 'writer's' block for so long now.

But there are mornings when i feel like my head's going to explode if i don't write down my thoughts. Often though, I'm caught sitting inside our company shuttle when this happens. And I have no choice but to weave the thoughts into stories that get stuck in my head. And end up written in air.

I wish somebody would invent an automatic mind reader. One that would transcribe every single thoughts that go through one's head. I would definitely be the first in line when this goes on sale.

Today, I have to sneak in and take some precious minutes off just to empty some of this thoughts out because i really feel like an overfilled bucket already. I tend to snap at people when I'm overfilled. The thoughts are somehow translated into emotional baggage, I guess.

I wish i had more than 24 hours to do all the things i'd like to do. Sigh. then again, i think a lot of mothers wish the same. it somehow goes with the job description. double sigh.

Sharing: Why Living a Life of Gratitude Can Make You Happy

A good read from Zen Habits

-----------------------------------------

If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, ‘thank you,’ that would suffice.” – Meister Eckhart

Many days, I try to humble myself and hold a 2-minute gratitude session. I simply sit or kneel, with no distractions, close my eyes, and think about what I’m grateful for and who I’m grateful for.

I don’t do it every day, but let me tell you, on the days I do it, it makes me very happy.

Why should that be? Why should the simple act of thinking about who and what I’m grateful for make such a big difference in my life?

Just a few reasons:

Because it reminds you of the positive things in your life. It makes you happy about the people in your life, whether they’re loved ones or just a stranger you met who was kind to you in some ways.
Because it turns bad things into good things. Having problems at work? Be grateful you have work. Be grateful you have challenges, and that life isn’t boring. Be grateful that you can learn from these challenges. Be thankful they make you a stronger person.
Because it reminds you of what’s important. It’s hard to complain about the little things when you give thanks that your children are alive and healthy. It’s hard to get stressed out over paying bills when you are grateful there is a roof over your head.
Because it reminds you to thank others. I’ll talk about this more below, but the simple act of saying “thank you” to someone can make a big difference in that person’s life. Calling them, emailing them, stopping by to say thank you … just taking that minute out of your life to tell them why you are grateful toward them is important to them. People like being appreciated for who they are and what they do. It costs you little, but makes someone else happy. And making someone else happy will make you happy.
What do I give thanks for, privately, in my little gratitude session? It varies every day. I thank all the readers of this site, for the encouragement you have given me, for the donations you’ve made that have made me that much closer to realizing my dreams, for the criticism you’ve given that has made this site better … for the time you’ve given me, just reading the articles when you have the chance.

I thank my loved ones, for all they do to me. I thank strangers who’ve shown me little acts of kindness. I thank God, for the life he’s given me. I thank people around the world for the things they’ve done to make the world better. I thank myself, for things that I’ve done (it’s important to recognize your own accomplishments).

How to Live a Life of Gratitude
The thing is, simple acts of gratitude don’t cost you much (especially once you get over the initial discomfort some people feel with thanking others). But they can make a huge difference.

If you’re interested in living a life of gratitude, here are my suggestions:

Morning gratitude session. Take 2-3 minutes each morning to give thanks, to whoever or whatever you’re grateful for. You don’t have to do anything, other than close your eyes and silently give thanks. This one act can make a huge difference.
Say thank you. When someone does something nice for you, however small, try to remember to say thank you. And really mean it.
Call to say thanks. Sometimes you might think about something nice that someone did for you. Perhaps you remember during your gratitude session. When you do, pick up the phone and call the person, just to say thanks. Let them know what they did that you’re grateful for, and why you appreciate it. Takes a minute or two. If it’s too early to call, make a note to call later. Even better is telling them in person, if you happen to see them or if they’re on your route. Almost as good is a thank-you email — keep it short and sweet.
Give thanks for “negative” things in your life. There’s always two ways to look at something. Many times we think of something as negative — it’s stressful, harmful, sad, unfortunate, difficult. But that same thing can be looked at in a more positive way. Giving thanks for those things is a great way to remind yourself that there is good in just about everything. Problems can be seen as opportunities to grow, to be creative. See the prayer below for more on this.
Learn a gratitude prayer. There are many prayers, religious or not, that can remind you to be grateful. Find one you like, and print it out or make it your desktop wallpaper. Here’s a religious one, and here’s a collection from a multitude of religions. You can find many others on the Internet, or write your own. If you’re not religious, make one that doesn’t include the concept of God. A good one is below.
Let me leave you with a prayer of gratitude that I’ve always found … well, perfect:

Be Thankful
Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire,
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don’t know something
For it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge
Because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes
They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you’re tired and weary
Because it means you’ve made a difference.

It is easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are
also thankful for the setbacks.

GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles
and they can become your blessings.
~ Author Unknown ~