Happy Birthday To Our Daddy Pogi!

I ran out of surprises today. And so, I just greeted my husband with the sweetest happy birthday I could muster and most loving kiss I could give right after saying a quick morning prayer. I hope that is enough. Although I do feel my lousiest today as you would know, I am big sucker for surprises (I keep throwing them even if my husband already expressed dislike over it).

So maybe today was really just about giving the husband what he wanted. A quiet birthday that he welcomed personally and without a kid badgering him to wake up and blow his birthday cake. We've been doing that since our kid learned to walk and mumble "happy birthday". Honestly, I wanted to do that because I wanted to make memories for the little girl. I wanted her to think of how special birthdays are and the best idea I came up with was cutting the birthday boy's sleep short and forcing him to blow his birthday candle at dawn. The kid really loved it (and would often replay the videos from years back) but now I'm not so sure if the husband felt the same. 

Tonight, we're going to quietly enjoy our KFC dinner at home. The birthday boy requested that we make an exception to our weekday pescatarian diet tonight and let him enjoy his KFC chicken guiltlessly. So yes, I have no issues with granting this birthday wish at all. And maybe we can squeeze in sometime for movie night later. I miss movie dates at home anyways since we've been putting too much time on our marathon training these past few weeks we hardly get to do our Thursday dates anymore.

To our dearest Daddy Pogi (as the little miss would fondly call the husband lately), happy happy birthday! Yes 34 is off the charts but you will forever remain 30 to us. So don't worry! (and my advance apologies for posting this pic hehe)

33

I just feel obligated to post something to remember this day by. Or just until I'm able to get my thoughts together and get over this blogging drought. 

Birthdays make me emotional. Well, for so long birthdays were just something I'd like to celebrate so I'd have an excuse to shop or treat myself to something extraordinary. But that has long past. Now birthdays are a big reminder to me of how blessed I am.

Yes. I worry like crazy each time the thought of the Big C hits me. But those are now rare. For the last 2 and a half years, I just try to live every waking moment like there's no tomorrow. And somehow, that makes me feel better. That somehow comforts me when I go to sleep at night.

Yes today I am 33. And I just want to mark that literally by sharing with you one of my favorite songs:

"Thirty-Three"

Speak to me in a language I can hear
Humour me before I have to go
Deep in thought I forgive everyone
As the cluttered streets greet me once again
I know I can't be late, supper's waiting on the table
Tomorrow's just an excuse away
So I pull my collar up and face the cold, on my own
The earth laughs beneath my heavy feet
At the blasphemy in my old jangly walk
Steeple guide me to my heart and home
The sun is out and up and down again
I know I'll make it, love can last forever
Graceful swans of never topple to the earth
And you can make it last, forever you
You can make it last, forever you
And for a moment I lose myself
Wrapped up in the pleasures of the world
I've journeyed here and there and back again
But in the same old haunts I still find my friends
Mysteries not ready to reveal
Sympathies I'm ready to return
I'll make the effort, love can last forever
Graceful swans of never topple to the earth
Tomorrow's just an excuse
And you can make it last, forever you
You can make it last, forever you 

When birthdays turn sentimental

Shed a few tears awhile ago when I read the card Daddy sent for my bday.


It read:

Kaps,

Happy_Birthday_!

to us, today s perhaps one of ur most significant bday bcos at least we cud still claim u to be ours. but the preservation of d human specie must not be broken hence im looking forward to a more significant event in ur life come october. im right here behind u. i love u pangga.

It made me realize for a moment that my family recognizes how important this event is to me. Although I know that when my dad sends me stuff like this, the reality it's just him telling me this and not him representing the whole family. For a moment, it made me feel good. The tears were actually tears of joy.

But then reality comes biting again. And the thought that my mom, my youngest sister and me are still not in good terms come rushing back. It's a very sad feeling. Something that I really do not wish to dwell on any longer.

But despite all of these, my bday was a happy one. I received tons of greetings as compared to several bdays in the past. It felt good to be remembered by friends especially good old friends from UP.

Today, I vow to let go of the bitterness. I will let time fix whatever issues exist at present. If time cannot handle it...I know love will not let this go unrepaired. Tibs and Auntie Jingjing are there to help me do that. And I thank God everyday I have people like them to help me get through all this.

To Mommy and Maoche, this may be something you can never and will never relate to. This could be something you think is just a whim of mine. But someday, I know...you will understand. And time will come you will remember there were happy days shared with me. That there came a time you were the number one priority in my list. I will wait for you to remember.